Excerpt from the relationship book:
The #1 killer of relationships is not incompatibility, rejection, lack of communication or even infidelity. What's the root cause?
When relationships break down it's because folks have gotten comfortable. And getting comfortable is often a result of self-absorption. When one is self-absorbed they stop becoming of service. They stop listening or seeing the needs of their partner. Only their needs, issues, and struggles matter. Going down that road is easy to do and people stay on it for a long time. And that's when things begin to break down...slowly but surely.
Subconsciously, and through their actions, folks have said: "I don't really want this relationship (right now). Or he/she ain't going nowhere. We have this house, kids, years behind us, they can't find nobody better than me, we're married, we're living together, the sex is bomb, they can't function on their own, they love me too much to leave me, etc., etc."
All this may be true, but don't test someone's generosity, patience and tolerance. In the end, self-preservation will kick in and they will begin to mirror what you give them. For there is always a source, a reaction, a consequence, an outcome to all that came before. Kill the complacency. And if you're not motivated to put in the work, then get real with yourself and ask why.
That's it, that's all.