The Truth About Healing

Author’s Note (Legacy Reflection)

I wrote this piece in a quiet season of deep emotional repair. The metaphor of the cut came to me after a conversation about how long emotional pain can linger—and how misunderstood the healing process often is.

We tend to rush pain out of discomfort, not realizing that healing—true healing—is not linear. It requires time, presence, and reverence.

I share this now as a reminder to anyone sitting with the scar: You are not broken. You are healing in motion.

And sometimes, honoring that truth is the most powerful thing you can do.

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See, when someone hurts us, it's like cutting your finger.

The worst part is the bleeding and depending on how deep the cut is, there will be lots of blood. Now, once the bleeding stops, you have to make sure to close the wound. And boy, does that hurt. An exposed wound is torture.

Many couples are in this space when there is conflict and it takes time for that open wound to close and to stop hurting. It may take days, weeks or years depending on the level of pain caused. Then, you move on to the wound healing and not hurting so much. But guess what? The scar is still there, visible and there for all to see. You can hide and use ointment to reduce its appearance but it is still there, reminding you of the moment when the cut first happened.

As the years pass, you forget about the scar. Sometimes. Yes...sometimes.

So, when your partner asks or doesn't understand why you're still bringing up an issue where deep pain was caused, tell them that the healing process is painful and that memories, like cuts, never quite go away until they are healed.

Moral of the story: Practice mindfulness and care in all things to minimize having difficult conversations.

That's it, that's all.